brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
