some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
