I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
MIDGETS
????
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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