Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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