when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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