she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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