I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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