My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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