He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
