Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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