I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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