Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
