Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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