Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Also, beer. Big fan.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
