2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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