dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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