Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize