69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
