There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize