you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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