last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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