Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
