Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize