2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm getting married
To pizza
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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