just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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