I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
whose ass print is on the piano?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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