grandma shit on top of the toilet
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
