"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
