At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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