I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
