I hate all girls vehemently.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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