she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
