Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize