But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
ttyl tear gas
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Randomize
