Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
