U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
