do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
