Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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