I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
