we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
