I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
50% drunk capacity currently
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
