That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
