Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
