Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
