You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
