No stitches, just platelets and will power
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
