sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
