I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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