Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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