You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
