My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
