thus making me awesome and them whores
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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