my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
