Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
True college students do jello shots in the library
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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