I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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