If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
worst night to have a conscience
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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