Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
