I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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