I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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