Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
