I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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