we have officially lost it.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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