NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My dick has a subreddit
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
